Not Atlas

But it feels like I’ve got too much weighing on me.  I’m trying to hold up everyone but I hate everything.  I wanted so much for so long it isn’t the lack of fairness that gets me.  Why do I continue to want?  It would be easier not to want.

This is no pity me moment just because its taken more than four motrin and a mystery pill from Amanda’s stash to make my head clear up.  I just want to be left alone and yet I hate loneliness.

Was Atlas a misanthrope like me?  Did he ever for a minute want to let it all go?

Because I don’t want it anymore and I’m not Atlas it would be so easy to get away.

Trial and Error

Sunday was the Trial and Monday, the Error.

I really wish I could say I had a valid reason for failing to post on Monday.  Truth is I have plenty of excuses but the most important and decisive factor is that I had already started a blog for Monday before I went to bed around 3am last night.  I’d probably written at least 2k between all my various scribblings (or should they be  blurbs? they are typed after all). Simply none were ready for consumption.  Well really nothing that I write is ready for the public but it must be written down so that I might know those thoughts existed and when they did.

Clearly I see now that I need to focus more on my short-term goals and my technique than carrying all this stuff at the same time.

Unfortunately this means that I am no longer intending to blog daily for November.  I’ll still sign up again for December which seems infinitely easier than November.

That said… I’m going to try a new direction in my NaNoWriMo, I need to let myself try more things and allow for the possibility of error.

It begins…

With uncertainty.  I never got around to planning my novel for NaNoWriMo and so I’ve got 800 words and not a clue what to do with them.

Among other things I should be worried about is the impending end of semester.  

Its the beginning of NaNoWriMo and I worry how it’ll finish instead of forging ahead to find that end. 

Strange isn’t it? 

Frustrating and annoyingly enough it seems to create a whole new writer’s block.

I’ve always wanted to try writing whilst high or drunk… at the very least buzzed.  I believe I’ve tried writing while on Vicodin but I doubt thats of any use right now I’m within the first exciting days before the characters have their own personalities and possibly a plot has formed and locked you on a course…

I should get back to writing…

Insomnia(c) speaks

In the interest of not being a liar… this isn’t my first blog hell it isn’t even my first post in long while.  But its my first blog here because I wanted a fresh start for *drumroll* nablopomo.com which is… intimidating when you consider that I’m also trying to do NaNoWriMo in the same month too…

I may die. On the other hand I’ll start to make a dent in my word count for the year, which I’m sorely behind on.  My original goal was something like… 200k-300k?  Yeah I’m REALLY behind on that.  It may get desperate around here and I may start to post class notes.

Anyways for anyone who’s interested… here’s a link to my old blog.

http://insomniac-dreams.xanga.com/